For this essay, we had to talk about Esperanza's development as a character. In my essay, I talked about how Esperanza was a young girl that was immature and insecure. But she develops into a strong and confident young woman that is no longer ashamed of where she came from. If you really want to read my essay, then you can click on the Download File below.
I was supposed to state what could be learned after reading the book Into The Wild. My thesis was: The novel, Into the Wild, by Jon Krakauer, teaches readers to take chances in order to grow, and to reach out and grab what they want, without hesitation.
For this essay I received a 4-. That's not such a bad score (considering that 5 is the highest score). The reason I got that score was because I could have gone more into depth, but I didn't. My concluding paragraph was strong. When I have to give commentary for each concrete detail, I should be more specific. Revision helped me raise my grade from a 3+ to a 4-, the point is that it helped improve my grade and the way I write. Next year, I will make sure I include enough commentary on an essay, because that seems to be what I'm lacking in.
"I believe that this poem has a really strong message. What may that be? Well for me the message is that without dreams life is officially pointless. There is nothing to live for. Nothing to keep you motivated enough to live." That was just the introduction of my essay. I realized how messy and bad it sounds compared to my more recent essays. I realized that using a question, makes the writing seem awkward. I'm also aware that I didn't involve a thesis statement. I'm proud to say that I did learn from my mistakes. I don't use questions anymore, and now I include a thesis statement. My paragraphs aren't repetitive, and they are much more organized.
the odyssey essay
"Everyone changes overtime, after overcoming obstacles. In the movie, The Odyssey, was about a man struggling to head home, with many problems being thrown at him. In the beginning, Odysseus is very self centered and boastful, but towards the end he's humble and patient." As you can see through this introduction, there has been a major change in my writing, when compared to the Dreams Essay. I give a short summary on what I'm talking about (in this case, it was the movie The Odyssey). I actually used a thesis this time, which let's the reader know what the essay is going to be about. This was not my best essay (the best grade I got was from my Into the Wild Essay), but there is an obvious change in the writing. Based off of that writing piece, I'm going to work on using different words, just so my sentences seem more concise.